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WitStream: Aristocrat of the Week: @Amaya_Teresa

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 14:10:52 -0400

WitStream: Aristocrat of the Week: @Amaya_Teresa :

Please get to know our Aristocrat of the Week, the hilarious Amaya Perea*:

Don’t ever let someone make you feel worthless. Unless you’re kind of a piece of shit

— Amaya Perea (@Amaya_Teresa)

April 11, 2013

1. What was your first exposure to Twitter?

My first exposure to…

FINALLY

Sat, 13 Oct 2012 15:52:47 -0400

FINALLY

This is fantastic and so is @guybranum

Tue, 02 Oct 2012 15:42:17 -0400

This is fantastic and so is @guybranum

How my inevitable divorce will probably go down

Thu, 20 Sep 2012 13:51:49 -0400

How my inevitable divorce will probably go down

Go Diamondbacks!

Wed, 29 Aug 2012 17:00:06 -0400

Go Diamondbacks!

Progressive pieces of shit mattfisher: My Sister Paid...

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 18:13:02 -0400

Progressive pieces of shit

mattfisher:

My Sister Paid Progressive Insurance to Defend Her Killer In Court

I’ve been sending out some impertinent tweets about Progressive Insurance lately, but I haven’t explained how they pissed me off. So I will do that here as succinctly as possible. There’s a general understanding that says, “insurance companies— oh they’re awful,” but since Progressive turned their shit hose on my late sister and my parents, I’ve learned some things that really surprised me.

I’ll try to cleave to the facts. On June 19, 2010, my sister was driving in Baltimore when her car was struck by another car and she was killed. The other driver had run a red light and hit my sister as she crossed the intersection on the green light.

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THIS IS NOT IMPORTANT

Thu, 26 Jul 2012 13:02:17 -0400

THIS IS NOT IMPORTANT

Kevin Hawkins is a genius kevyhawkins: I maked this

Fri, 20 Jul 2012 18:54:27 -0400

Kevin Hawkins is a genius

kevyhawkins:

I maked this

Rape: How to Make a Rape Joke(via @Jezebel)

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 17:27:39 -0400

Rape: How to Make a Rape Joke(via @Jezebel):

Hello, precious flowers. I know it’s been a difficult couple days for all of us, what with certain people interrupting certain other people (so rude!) and certain other people suggesting that said interruptors deserve to be hilariously gang-raped (so edgy!).

THIS SATURDAY PLEASE AND THANK YOU

Thu, 28 Jun 2012 16:01:27 -0400

THIS SATURDAY PLEASE AND THANK YOU

Take the vacay you really deserve

Mon, 18 Jun 2012 14:12:31 -0400

Take the vacay you really deserve

WitStream: Behind the Tweet: @bridger_w

Fri, 15 Jun 2012 16:10:35 -0400

WitStream: Behind the Tweet: @bridger_w:

witstream:

“Arby’s is frequently a subject of people’s fast food jokes. For most, the chain is used as a punch line because they hate it. Not for me. I eat there. I eat there all the time. I eat there so much, some employees know me by name: Eric. My name isn’t Eric. No one at Arby’s knows that,…

Erin Gibson does it again Paycheck Fairness Act FAIL - watch...

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 18:00:23 -0400

Erin Gibson does it again

Paycheck Fairness Act FAIL - watch more funny videos

Cheers For Fears: One account of a thing

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 13:19:57 -0400

Cheers For Fears: One account of a thing:

The most well written and heartfelt account of one woman’s relationship with deodorant.

drewkoshgarian:

2010

Maybe three months before my divorce, I started wearing real deodorant. The kind with chemical antiperspirant and a refrigerator-fresh, fruity fragrance. Sterile and appetizing as factory cupcakes. It was a concession. The last and biggest.

2004

Deodorant is out of the question. For both…

thedailyshow: Remember the GOP Primary? Neither do we. But this...

Tue, 22 May 2012 15:18:05 -0400

thedailyshow:

Remember the GOP Primary? Neither do we. But this mash-up strongly suggests it happened.

Coming to a 711 near you

Fri, 04 May 2012 14:23:13 -0400

Coming to a 711 near you

sadpeopletalking: A few of the sad people you can see tonight @...

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 19:35:12 -0400

sadpeopletalking:

A few of the sad people you can see tonight @ Royal/T Café!

Click her for more info.

My dad’s business is really suffering you guys

Fri, 30 Mar 2012 02:01:32 -0400

My dad’s business is really suffering you guys

This is TOMORROW and we’d love to see your pretty faces...

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 15:41:46 -0400

This is TOMORROW and we’d love to see your pretty faces there. In the meantime, watch me snort baby powder https://www.facebook.com/events/380896788601523/

Justin Decker: Transitioning from Club Comedian to Alt Comedian

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 23:24:45 -0500

Justin Decker: Transitioning from Club Comedian to Alt Comedian:

jddecker:

I’m tired of performing in front of sold out crowds in comedy clubs night after night, hooking up with gorgeous drunk coeds only to be dumped as soon as they realize I don’t hang out with Nick Swardson…I’d much rather perform in some cavernous art gallery or in the back of a comic book store in…